Lady Krista

In the past few days, my area has been hit with the first snowstorm of the season. Luckily, we did not receive the blunt force of the storm system, but the snow here is lovely... and sticking. Looks like it may be a white Christmas this year.  (woops... knock on wood!)

Anyway, my bf and i have been having some fights lately regarding my inability to trust anyone (damn you, L...). My bf wants me to open up a little more, and i've been hiding like a cornered rabbit. But, we've made some "breaktroughs", as you could call them. I actually lent him my flash drive, the one with my story, writings, and all the letters i wrote to L... It broke my bf up pretty badly, but he claimed to be more hurt that i was trying to hid it from him. I also told him another thing about myself that i'd been hiding... I'm actually glad i did - he supported me and comforted me. It was better than hiding...

Anyway, i've vowed to spend time with my bf on Christmas, which my family may be very disappointed about, but who cares what they think, right?

Well, Krista out. Take care and have a great week!!

~Lady Krista~

Last evening, my bf and I celebrated six months… Seems like so much longer than that… Anyway, around 5:00, he brought over a beautiful bouquet of roses, which my mom cut and put in her wedding vase. He also brought me a box of assorted chocolate, a plush grey elephant, and a lovely card. It was amazing… K was incredibly jealous... ^_^

I asked him to stay for supper, which he was thrilled about. We had hotdogs and chicken ‘n rice soup… Yum! ^_^ That night, I slept curled up with the elephant…

Anyway, I got up this morning at 4:00 am to go to a TV station with my choir to compete. Our director treated us to donuts on the way there and a delicious meal on the way back, and now I’m back in algebra… -_- lolz

Au revoir!!

~Lady Krista~

Our Roses:

Friday -

Today, after school, i went with my sister and father to my sis' swim meet. It was alright; i got most of my homework done, which was good. My bf and i were texting, of course, and we made some pretty nice plans regarding the evening. The only thing we were counting on, because my mother was working the night shift (7 pm to 7 am) at the hospital, was that my dad would go to sleep before midnight. So, while waiting for my text of "the coast is clear", my bf slept in his car in an empty parking lot...

Saturday -

Around 1:30, i woke with a jolt, remembering my bf in his car and my father sleeping. I sent a quick text to my bf and he came quitely and quickly to the side door of my garage (it's been turned into the office of my dad's business). It was simply fantastic to sleep in his arms, despite the cramped quarters of the couch.

My bf left around 4:30, because my father had expressed his intent to rise at 5 am. I snuck back into the house and fell fast asleep on my bed while my bf, to whom i had given to blankets, went back to his parking lot.

When lunch-time came around, my bf invited me to join him at a small chinese place near-by. Once again, i snuck out (mom was fast asleep because of work and my father and sis were back at the meet). We had a delightful meal and then he dropped me back home and went home himself.

Later that night, i was involved in a servant auction for the LCMS National Youth Gathering, to which my bf's dad and little bro came to support. It was total fun and when my bf was done with work, he joined the clean-up crew, then took me home. Yet another wonderful day...

Sunday -

Church rolled around the bend and my bf joined me both for service and helping with the 4th-5th graders' Sunday School. My father and sister left for the last day of the meet and my bf and i grabbed some cash from my mother and went to eat at Qdoba. ^_^ It was awesome... until the end... Recently, my bf had been... "less than understanding" and my logical side was beginning to fight my emotional side. My logical side argued for a break, just to take some time apart from one another, but my emotional side knew i would never survive without him. He wanted to know what i was thinking and before i knew it, my logical side told him exactly what it thought. To my horror, not only had i caused him pain, i had caused him tears. He NEVER cries, especially not in my presence. Eventually, i was able get a hold of the $*%^& logical thoguhts and invoke the power of my emotion. I told him i'd never, ever, not in a million years, leave him like that. I couldn't, even if i wanted to. So there, in the back seat of his van, i held him while he sobbed over the pain i had inflicted... When he had composed himself, he thanked me for what i'd promised about never leaving and forgave me for my hurtful words. After several more minutes, we decided to meet back in the garage after my mom had gone to sleep. We spent a few more hours together, then he left because his dad wanted to meet with him and his brother about their grades. Mostly, I gathered that his dad just did a lot of yelling ad repeating, so my bf was really upset. I offered him a hug on his way to work, which he gladly swung by and got. I was going to take time a rose at work, but my mom wouldn't let me go. Plus, my dad and sister wanted to go out to eat when they got home around 6. After work, my bf drew a picture of a rose and wrote a sweet note, which he dropped at my house with a "doorbell dash". It was fantastic...

Monday -

I got grounded in the evening for being stubborn. (Suprised? Didn't think so.) And so that really stunk, but it's ok, except for the "no bf til thursday". I drove to K's to work on hw and totally spent some steam. K is great for listening...

Tuesday -

I went to work out with K, then played some Halo with her while waiting to go pick up my sis. On the way home, I call my bf to leave a sweet message on his phone, but he called back and interrupted me. After a little while, we got into a very minor argument about never calling and i was driving, so i just hung up. And then i dropped my sis off home and ran to the nearby grocery store, picked up a beautiful card and a pot of mini roses ($4 bucks!! ^_^ ), and drove to his house like a bat outta hell. I set it next to his door and took off, calling him to tell him it was there. Then he finally gave me a good reason to call again to actually talk (he was acting like he didn't want me too, so i made him give me a good reason to). And guess what. I made him cry again. Again!! What the heck is wrong with me?!? Ugh... So i finally convinced him to picture the day in the park all those months ago and fall asleep. He did and woke up feeling much better.

Wednesday -

After church this evening, I discovered that my bf had gotten his phone taken away. Church had been awful; x was being mean again, and i was feeling alone. I wanted to call my bf, but couldn't. It was awful...

Thursday -

I'm skipping working out tonight - K has lots of hw and i just don't want to. Lolz. My bf was just over and we spent some time together in the front yard running around like maniacs. When my mom brought my sis home, we involved her in our little game and my bf eventually had to stop me from attacking her, which caused us to end up on the ground. My mom greatly disliked that and sent him home, but now all is good. ^_^

So there you have it, the past few days in a nutshell. Amen, sista!!

Krista out!!

~Lady Krista~

Does one blissful day account for my father's actions?

Halloween was alright. My dad sprung a 11 hour trip on me to go get meat from his father's farm bacause i'm the logical choice to go with him. My sister had begged me to go to her friend's party cause they'd invited my bf and I, my bf was planning on hanging with me, and K was expecting me to be at her Haunted House. We barely got back in time for any of that. I threw together a costume for my bf and i, then we headed off to meet my sister at her friend's place. After chaperoning those little 11-year-old munchkins, my bf and i took off with our bag of candy (we shared, taking turns going up to the door) to K's place. When we got there, our other friend let us into the house and we hung for a while before going through the Haunted House they'd built in the garage. When we returned, K invited us to help out to my bf and i hurried in and took our positions. It was awesome! I totally want to help out next year! Lolz.

After that, my bf and i headed back to my place (40 min early ^_^ ) and sorted the candy. We sat around for a while, just chilling with my mom, then headed to his place to light our pumpkin up (i'll see about posting pics). We said good bye and i headed back home, avoiding my fuming father at all costs.

For some reason, the past week, after having officially quit swimming, my father has become a walking nightmare. I guess it's ok, since i hardly see him, but when i walk into a room, he always finds something to verbally attack me with. "stupid", "wrong choice", "screwing up your life", "you don't listen to me", "close-minded", "what is this *%&$#?", "i'm done with you", "i've had it up to here with you"...... etc........ I wish he'd just leave me alone. He's not encouraging in any way. All he ever does is bring me down. I hate him. I know that's a strong word, but i really do hate him. He yells at everyone, manipulates my mom, hates me, so on and so forth. He needs help, but he's too stubborn to chill and get it.

My bf is always there for me. He texts me with encouragement and love and gives me advice on how to avoid issues with my father. Somehow, he always knows the right words to get me through and cheer me up. He often sends little sweet messages and cute pics throughout the day while we're in school. Last night, he dropped by before work like he often does and I guess i was being so sweet, he brought me 4 caramel apples after work. He set them at the door, rang the bell, and was off like a light. The note told me that he'd brought them because he was "returning the favor" of being sweet. How awesome is that?!? And caramel apples are my favorites!! I shared one with my mom, cause there was one with nuts and i don't particularly like the nuts, but she does. I so adore him!!

November 17 will be 6 months with him and he told me he's planning something special for us that weekend. <3<3 I love him...

Anyway, you can see how roller-coaster-y my life is, between the hate and discouragement of my father and the love and encouragement of my bf.

Signing off, carefree and in love,

~Lady Krista~

ok, so the weekend of my birthday was a succes and guess what my boyfriend gave me........ you'll never guess......... alright, enough suspense: he gave me an iPod Touch......... O_o needless to say, i was SHOCKED. and so was all my friends when i told them. I just kinda stared at it, then at him, then back at it, then back at him. He was looking all sheepish and said, "i hope you like it...". my response was this: "holy... you're crazy... I LOVE YOU, YOU CRAZY MAN!!!" and then he got the well deserved hugs and kisses i had for him. This suprise just took the cake.....

The weekend that followed was my school's homecoming, which was tons of fun, despite being a Harry Potter theme. The week after that was my bf's school's homecoming (themed safari/jungle), which also was tons of fun. At mine, i hung out with all my friends, and at his, i met all of his friends and reconnected with a good one of mine. It was a blast!

And then this past week hit like a bullet to the stomach... and leg... and arm... and face... and chest... I've been way lacking on sleep due to SOOOO much homework (aka: getting to bed around 1:00 am and up at 6:00 am). I've been dealing with the stress from band - the state competition is this weekend, practices are intense and cold, we JUST replaced the heads on the battery's drums and have already broken two, my co-section-leader broke the pit's base drum last night, i didn't get one of the cool laminated locker signs for state (petty i know... i stole an underclassman's off their locker...), and i'm under the pressure of handling the pit in general. My bf won't do his homework cause he's lazy (i'm OCD; i can't not to my homework...) so his dad threatened to take away his phone, his privaledge of joining me at the dinner theater friday, his privaledge to come to band day (state), and his privaledge to see me in general. I don't want to swim anymore, and not because i don't want to work, i just hate the time it takes from me. I just have no time anymore for the things i need like practicing my clarinet, sleeping, doing homework, and having time to be myself. I'm crying constantly, like some fancy fountain in an european city square. It's so annoying! I have so many good things in my life, like my bf, my family, my school, my band, my best friends, and the air in my lungs. Why then do i feel like i do?

Signing off, confused and annoyed...

~Lady Krista~

Guess who's birthday's on friday. And guess who's sick. That's right. Me! Well, my boyfriend and his family are grilling out for me on friday, i have a band competition on saturday, and i'm prolly going out of town dress shopping on sunday with my two best friends. I'm pumped for the weekend, as long as this cough and sore throat will just go away! lolz. Well, i'm out. Ttyl!

~Lady Krista~

Well, as pit section leader, i decided to offer shirts to the pit and the crew. They look AWESOME!!! I was really pumped. I hope they turn out well. Anyway, that's really all i have. Oh, and my relationship with my bf is going fantastic and getting better by the day. <3

ttyl!!

~Lady Krista~

MY BIRTHDAY IS OCTOBER 2nd!!

Well, i am officially burnt out. Already.

I've Decided:

I've decided i want to get a facebook, but it's blocked at my house. I wish the pit would listen to me, but they don't care that i'm section leader. I wish i didn't have to go to school, but the law forces me to. I want to spend time with my bf, but the school work is too much. I don't want to swim, but its the only way to keep in shape. I just want to be me, i want to speak out, but i can't escape the confines of this overly-stereotypical, suffocating existance that requires i be silent in the times of deepest crisis and forget the dream of idividuality. I'm stuck in 1984 and there is no way out.

Sorry, just needed to vent....

Catch ya on the flip side!

~Lady Krista~

I survived band camp... Again... lolz

Ok, so there's this guy (worst way to start a story, i know). He's in pit with me and plays the bass guitar. He went to my jr high and was in the class ahead of me. I was thinking about him, and, all things considered, i really wish i knew him better. He's cool, and nice, and i remember when he was still at my jr high (in my bf's class) and he defended my bf against a bunch of the jerks of that year. But i always feel kinda small and dumb... i dunno... Anyway, life is goin pretty great otherwise. ^_^

~Lady Krista~

Well, i got back from the section leader camp yesterday afternoon and i'm just hoping i can really put that to use during band camp this week when i'm attempting to run secionals. It should be a little easier with the only guy in the pit missing. He refuses to listen to me and drags the pit down with him. Negative leadership at its worst. But KUDOS to my two freshies!!! Both of them are excellent and will do anything i ask of them. It's fantastic. I'm so glad to have two freshies willing to get down to work and go ahead and beyond the requirements as far as learning/memorizing the music goes.

Anyway... Stuff with my bf is still going great... Um...... i can't think of anything else to say... Haha. Alright... Well, i'll catch ya'll later!

~Lady Krista~